google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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