I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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