drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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