Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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