dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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