i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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