it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
