maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
nutella sex= disaster
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
