just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
