I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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