What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
