screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize