Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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