Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
