dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Damn victory sex feels great
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
