She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
