remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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