ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
