and you said cock pushups were impossible
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
