I hope mine doesn't look like that
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So vagazzling was a success
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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