I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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