Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
