Need sex. Gaining weight.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I party with great urgency now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
