literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
