Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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