so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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