So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
