She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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