where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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