He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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