So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
