I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
