am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
