Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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