I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
