I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
