Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
