He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
