Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
