is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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