I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
