He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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