just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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