i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I enjoy the company of your penis
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize