i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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