you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
