I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think my moral compass just broke
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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