dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
