Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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