If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Small penises have feelings too.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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