It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
