From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
