we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Boobs speak an international language.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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