Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
