So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
