I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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